Heinously Unreliable Used Car Battle of the Week: Executive Sedans

"The Common Gearhead" (thecommongearhead) 02/12/2014 at 10:00 • Filed to: Used Cars, HUUCBOTW, Executive Sedans, Maserati, Mercedes-Benz

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This is a post from a blog I maintain in my spare time. Bear in mind, my audience is generally comprised of the auto-inept, so it may read a bit simplistic, but I assure you, the petrol runs thick through my veins. Hope you enjoy, fellow gearheads.

As a devoted (read: clinically insane) automotive enthusiast, I spend most of my time on the internet perusing car-related sites and videos when I should be doing more productive things, like studying… or paying attention to literally anything else at all that isn't car-related. But because I am afflicted with this car crazy curse, naturally I spend a significant amount of time on used car sites looking for enthusiast cars (read: unreliable and slightly one-off). And as I enjoy tickling the keys (read: blogging) every once in a while, I thought I'd turn my interest in internet window shopping into a series of posts for your enjoyment. Not that I expect you to enjoy any of this, because I totally will not be offended and cry myself to sleep if you do not.

So, without further ado, I present the first installment of the Common Gearhead's weekly (if I have time) series: Heinously Unreliable Used Car Battle of the Week!

This week on HUUCBOTW (wow that doesn't really roll off the tongue at all), we have a pair of European executive sedans. This class of automobile is ideal for those pesky 1-percenters that everyone's always going on about. Big, comfortable land yachts that are as luxurious to drive as they are to be driven around in… if you're into that sort of thing. But for us lowly, entry-level, cubicle-dwelling gearheads, they represent the biggest and best that luxury automakers had to offer about 10 years ago.

And since I'm on a budget, I've limited the price to $20,000 for both cars. Let's see what our more sophisticated but less-showered neighbors from across the mighty Atlantic have to offer.

2007 Mercedes-Benz S550 4MATIC – $19,800

The Mercedes S-Class has been the pinnacle of luxury automobiles for its entire history. With each new S-Class, you can count on Mercedes to introduce several new technologies that you'll be able to have in your new Kia in approximately 10-25 years. This is a dictator's chariot. The closest thing you can get to a Rolls-Royce or a Bentley without looking overly douchey.

However, as well-built as Mercedes' generally are, being a high-strung technical marvel means that this black beauty is no cheap date when it comes time to visit the mechanic. Don't be caught off guard when you take it in to get the window switches fixed and the repair bill has more zeros than your stoner friend's report card in high school. Also, avoid driving through wealthy zip codes, because with an old model S-Class, you'll look like a down-on-her-luck middle-aged former trophy wife.

To find the cars.com ad for this car, click !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

2005 Maserati Quattroporte – $20,000

Italia! Molto benne! Fettuccine! Quattroporte! Words just sound better when spoken in Italian. Coincidentally, so do engines. This beautiful bella has a Ferrari-engineered V8 under the hood and she'll swaddle your butt with Italian leather while you cruise in an interior fit for the inside of a Prada handbag. This is a car for the CFO who fancies himself a passionate man. I'm so passionate . Look at all my passion and chest hair. It's Italian by every sense of the word. If that model from those Fiat commercials were actually a car, she wouldn't be a dinky little 500, she would be a long, lean, and majestic Quattroporte.

Unfortunately, the Italian method of assembling automobiles seems to be as follows:

1. Put the parts you have in front of you where you think they're supposed to go.

2. Go home early, drink Limoncello, and tell yourself that "Antonio will finish it tomorrow."

So, unless your definition of passion includes fiery death , this may not be the executive sedan for you, Mr. Chest Hair.

To find the cars.com ad for this car, click !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Which one would you choose? Click the link below and vote!

http://poll.fm/4m4cc

Arben72 > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:04

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W221 for sure, best unreliable car ever. An uncle of mines 40,000 mile service on his s63 cost him $11,000....

dinobot666 > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:04

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I love the depreciation curve on these vehicles. I could actually afford to buy one, but probably not keep it on the road. :D

EL_ULY > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:07

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LOL!! Man, I feel for those who would purchase these things. These kind of cars arrive all the time to my dealer (usually with after market chrome wheels and dark tint). We make them a price quote on stuff they need and they start bitching and moaning that we are thieves or some shit. Their cars are in need of maintenance, they do not do it, and even start bitching about their diag bill. "They ain't even do nothing to my car, why I'm posta pay that much if they ain't even do nothing?"

Jagvar > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:12

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...and even the S65 AMG is starting to dip into mid-20s territory . This could get dangerous.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:17

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Quattroporte.

Jagvar > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:18

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For the money, I feel like I would go a slightly different route .

evil2win > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 10:31

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Luxury cars depreciate so much because it's suppose be a sign to the world that you have money to burn, you're rich dammit! If you own and old luxury car it means that you are trying to look like you have money, or you had money, but it's gone now. Economic signaling. Of. Ourse there are those that are just in it for the budget horsepower. The maintence costs tend to be restrictive though.

PS9 > EL_ULY 02/12/2014 at 10:38

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Fuckin' whiners. If you wanted a problem free car, you should have stuck to Camrys.

Or at least buy your old luxury cars from Japan instead of Europe.

BJ > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 11:20

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I clicked on the poll link but was unable to decide how to vote... Not easy, this one.

OK, I'm going to vote S-Class because it's 2 years newer and finding a dealer or independent garage that can work on it will be less trouble.

William Byrd > Jagvar 02/12/2014 at 11:38

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Yet just as unreliable! haha

Jagvar > William Byrd 02/12/2014 at 11:45

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Oh, for sure. There's no such thing as a reliable European luxobarge at that price point.

EL_ULY > PS9 02/12/2014 at 11:46

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lol right :]

newton > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 11:55

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Not all S-classes are created equal. The W220 is the worst car I have ever owned. I didn't own it by choice, it was a hand-me-down from my parents' divorce settlement (not gonna get into that...). It's one thing if a flagship German saloon is unreliable, but it's appalling that it would be both unreliable and built with the fit and finish of an early 2000s Kia.

If you do decide to make the mistake of buying an old S-class, avoid the W220, especially the pre-facelift models. I do hear that the W140s are built like tanks, if you don't mind the Deathstar-like curb weight.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > The Common Gearhead 02/12/2014 at 12:06

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Lol, my CFO drives a Quattroporte, it's parked right outside!

I'd probably go for the Merc, actually though. I'd like to think it's at least less of a gamble?

PilotMan > Jagvar 02/12/2014 at 13:04

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$180,000 to $28K in eight years!

The Common Gearhead > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 02/12/2014 at 13:31

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It probably is less of a gamble, but there's something about me that just can't say no to that Ferrari V8. It's spectacular.

Manuél Ferrari > PilotMan 02/15/2014 at 22:45

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I want to buy it strictly for that reason.

Will it be a nightmare to maintain? Yes. But I would make myself feel better by saying "this was a $180K car" every time I get in it.

Manuél Ferrari > BJ 02/15/2014 at 22:48

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I agree with you. While the S Class will be expensive to maintain it should still be a tad better in the long run. More of them made, more mechanics that know the cars, more possibility to have parts taken off wrecked cars.

Italian luxo barge scares me more than German luxo barge. I love the feel of Italian cars but I wouldn't get a used Maser boat. If I was going to buy a new large luxury sedan I'd wait for the upcoming Caddy. If someone put a gun to my head to buy one of these two cars it would be the Merc.

Dr_Outback > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 08:57

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A friend of mine owns an immaculate and loaded '08 7 series and he said that his used car warranty spent about $20,000 repairing the car. About $10,000 was for the transmission. So he has no complaints about the car.

Filmlandgrab > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 09:14

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Whatever you choose, get it Carmax. Nutty warranties, y'all!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 09:15

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And let's not forget the DeMuro advice of buying these heinously unreliable luxury cars from carmax because their warranty is fantastic for these types of things

jalop1991 > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 09:42

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Those aren't unreliable used cars. They were unreliable when they were new. They're simply unreliable cars, period.

webmonkees > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 09:57

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Lol.. a friend has a late-90s MB, but since his parents gave it to him, he can't sell it and get something decent. Just watching the value approach repair costs. (yeah guy knows nothing on cars other than if it leaks or stops going)

I'd say about another year and $500 and it's underwater.

If you know how they work, a 70's 80's model is almost indestructible and repairable when the indestruction wears out. Otherwise..

Dr_turtles > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 11:33

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where is heliochrome when you need him?

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > The Common Gearhead 02/16/2014 at 21:34

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I disagree, mainly because I own a W220 S500, and I've owned a W220 S600 V12 TT. Would you call a 747 unreliable, or high maintenance? Keep in mind I bought my S500 not running and cheap because I knew of the common, well documented issues that it had. I solved the issue with $300 worth of parts and about an hour of time and I had a fully loaded S-Class that has been the most reliable car I've ever had.

The S600 was insanely fast and more luxurious than a first class cabin. I ended up selling it because I wanted something with a bit more driver input, but I still daily the S500. Neither one had any catastrophic problems or anything that didn't amount to wear and tear. Have it serviced if you don't know what you're doing, or be VERY thorough when looking over your car and you should be fine. Amazing cars for the price.

The Quattroporte sucks, if only for that crap gearbox. If they put in a real automatic, it would be the bargain of the century.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Jagvar 02/16/2014 at 21:35

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This is a car I definitely want in my collection. 600hp/700tq is absolutely ridiculous in something with ventilated and massaging seats.

joekitch > The Common Gearhead 02/17/2014 at 01:25

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no joke, those window regulators are maybe $150, but they'll cost like $500 to replace at a dealer, maybe more, and its a real easy job.
if you get a flagship, make sure you're willing to do everything yourself

joekitch > Jagvar 02/17/2014 at 01:27

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oddly enough i hear the A8 is the most reliable between the 7-series, s-class, A8 trifecta.....and more reliable by a noticeable margin.
its just that when things break its damn expensive